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toinfinitywinning · 11 months ago

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this is get to know you time. the cringy name game at every camp in the world you do with toilet paper. enough.

Conversations and thoughts resembling the same level of random and incongruence of my Apple Music library. like Josh Groban is to Eminem: Mercy Me. a lot about everything that’s not a hashtag bc it just needs more attention.

Let the first (post) be first:

Hi. I’ve never done this before (like a seriously grown up blog on purpose. Just when just followed sad somewhat desperate poetry with a random live-laugh-love meme in there somewhere.) and Pitch Perfect.

BUT.

For 2 years I’ve had Long-Haul COVID. It’s a different kind of lonely

Thanks so much, amirite? —Gen-Z apologies if I didn’t use that jumbled acronym-word correctly.

It’s hard to keep up.

See? What am I talking about now and how did I get there…

Due to a very common symptom of LHC…

Again—hard to keep up. It’s there. Tho

And I have a lot of quirk so it’s possible I think you’ll “get” but are just nice not to tell me

BUT.

It’s already gone. Train left the Station yesterday.

Slipped on a penny.

Not Good. not even funny.

Teens with the gorgeous graffiti have to Go elsewhere. I’ve always been jealous of that kind talent.

Whole lot better than something else shiny thrown on the track and it’s derailed. There’s at least some innocence in a paint can.

WOW.

I have major attention and Brain Fog hurdles to conquer or shortly bypass. You might not be able to tell b/c of how My writing jumps around so infrequently.

Not true but still easier.

Mostly innocent and playful.

Sadly the attention part is this many years young.

Writing comes naturally. As it always has, strangely...

And why is healing so exhausting? Writing is therapeutic but My body says—can you not?

i know im not the only one asking that!

As if I have time for that too.

find a community of people suffering just as similarly and gain strength, tips and tricks.

Just, speak-screen edit my writing for me. Maybe a clarification fact-✔.

Just not wherever Tr*mp gets his.

Could be Truth Social. Monthly fee tho will cost you your Red Hat.

MYGAbad

Speaking I struggle with processing w/e skills I must have held onto.

BUT.

Since 2 years is quite. some. time.—I’ve shared many struggles and victories.

Like a Bell curve. Or a punk Domino falling then lining them up takes longer just to go down again in half the time. Repeat.

It’s very likely I Will try to talk about many things at once.

I really can’t help that. LOL.

Jury’s still out but I get most of my writing and miscellaneous musings from mom.

Dad can write the best, longest, and precious prayers and notes.

Almost delicately but like you KNOW he’s giving you a hug.

A Good mix tape’s paper Version.

Enter Run on sentences. Truly a stream by now.

Although my brain muscle is weak I’ve been encouraged by several people to Start a blog. Someday I’ll include the past 2 years of w/e pics are on other SocMed.

I can’t think of anything worse.

Yea, okay LOL.

Judgment free. Occasionally… like normal doses then have to work through that.

Mostly that’s because I knew nothing about anything before I opened My computer and started sharing My thoughts under zero context ridden or form at all.

More likely as well to offend and piss someone off. Well done you’re now one less friend popular. There’s an App for that tho-tracking people Who don’t like you.

Not sure where I’ll land with this. It may not land you either.

Because like a lot of us. Sometimes you don’t get to talk actually. No Room.

I like routine; that’s out. So it gets dull.

I’ve learned I hadn’t yet given myself the space to see all of things I can do sitting down.

But. By “given” I mean to say that perhaps I didn’t know it was there.

One Good thing I’ve gathered from this Hell.

Hell fresh by the Day! Never frozen.

So at that time and in this case of my life; sitting is fine.

Some of it isn’t too bad. The writing. You will find questionable punctuation. Run on sentences that I was running.

Relevance at all.

All around Confusion…altho connect the dots could have been seen as practice.

Or annoying even. I’d have no words.

I truly don’t set out to be funny. I could never do stand-up or improv. Or act.

Humor forced just takes and receives too much energy that might come off insincere.

Nothing on command.

Like Matt Perry’s brilliant improv wit it just doesn’t hit the same.

B/c it was scripted.

A syllabus for it Imagine.

The horn to jump off the swim block.

It’s when Life feels more scripted a lot of people close up.

That’s because you’re not in charge anymore. I’ve lost the Power.

Don’t prefer caring about whether someone likes me like I used to.

I believe you can snooze me for 30 days or say ‘I’m done w/ her’ and send Me to the cyberarchives.

Okay. Okay.

So—90% of the time I’m witty and sarcastic with a bit of cynicism, discomfort (for you), and pettifogging.

I write primarily about the questions of intersectionality.

How do things fit.

Let’s Fit it.

Until I figured out physics and calculus and basic math were behind a career in architecture and the classes I would have to take, I enjoyed taking things apart to make something else.

Not always pretty.

Could be Good what I took apart was the best thing we can’t see.

Like I’m writing questions but with wisdom not meaning to do that either,

A lot of people don’t like that. You do you! Baby.

I don’t mean to be at all harsh or hurtful. I try not to say that anything vainly.

I say it b/c a lot of what I’m writing is all of every piece of stream of consciousness tallied.

And it was a synapse connecting another.

Maybe that’s the creative part? The other side of My Brain is telling Me to ✔ on the other side so I’m like…crickets.

What I write is stream of consciousness, brutally honest and to some might be lightly offensive. In College writing this Way would’ve absolutely driven Me crazy.

Then life steps in and bonks u on the head with a newspaper but 15 years later returns the favor with an iPhone.

Or too blunt. And comes across as harsh. And that’s mostly because if I don’t have an emoji to match my real-life broken ღ I’m breaking up with you.

Self reflection: impulsive

I used to journal so much growing up.

When did I lose that innocence?

We can’t talk about folding paper into cranes and witchcraft finger fortune games anymore?

No more MASH?

Huh, maybe you weren’t born this Way. Ur Parents just drew circles nearest each other or your apple stem twist broke too soon and you want a partner whose name starts with P.

Very often I overshare. If you’re reading this this is not brand new information. No ability to say things simply. Think I’ve already. That can put me really vulnerable to more bitcoin hacks.

And then you need to figure out what bitcoin is. And whether Mario can collect coins as well in place of the hackers.

I’d say ask Tom Brady b/c of his investments but since retirement he’s been pretty deflated.

Mean people that mean to hurt.

First of all I feel sorry for you. Not in a poor you tho.

People Who hurt on purpose don’t often have any Way to vent or get a rise other than evoke feelings in and deflect toward a schoolmate.

Skip back to the part I tried talking about vulnerability. It truly is the invisible cloak and no one can see you but nothing makes sense still and you’ve only fixed what’s on the outside. Now you’re peeved AND cloaked.

At this conjunction junction next I’d suggest try shopping at Target opposed to Abercrombie then.

Feet in the water right above bankruptcy to see how things could be different only what…if?

Good ♧ seriously.

So there’s more grace given when you fall. When it’s not your month Day or even year!

Nobody is there for you!!

And My cloak is getting rained on.

Maybe gathering strength from falling will come a common sense with a 6th one but with seriously meaningful things I’ve learned and less hard knock’s Life for us.

The hard Way.

The bottom’s still there and it actually stinks stinks. Discouraging b/c there are two sides to the bottom of the cave full of stalagTITES and mites.

All the up’s and down’s. Right there. And the COVID-19 bat OMG!

You know you may not be able to fall any further further but once you’re up again you’re wondering whether you should get some cement to close that thing off.

Choose to live! But welcome to the real world—it sucks—ur gonna Love it.

Almost 4got. In the cave you dont always have to wait for Jesus to be resurrected if that metaphor comforts you but if change comes and it requires a whole new worm can of Life we already can’t handle that gets us outta the dank I don’t think we need to ask permission to the rights of that Bible passage.

BUT.

Until YOU are ready for change...

Forget it. At least you meant well. Someone can guide that horse to water but it stays pretty hydrated, so he says he’s Good. Promise. The only talking animal and it was Me Who got to hear it. More importantly, who’s gonna ☊? Care? There’s a country song finding out Who your Friends are. A lot stay lost and it’s not helpful all our Friends aren’t the same.

Missing a Good chance to find out if you’re in a similar predicament and that not always a bad thing.

At times I have literally had to be lifted off the floor.

I don’t do this at all for pity. As you read, My Pride is the biggest obstacle to let Go.

When you do?

The hard way through this.

I am angry and irritable for bouts. Sometimes I’m silly and invite karma punishments.

Go all Brimstone and every type fire and the Old Testament has nothing New-thinking and no one new to add to it. SMH. Nail a list on the wooden church door reading it is nearing endgame. Or, Just open your hotel drawer and tear out the back half.

So change then— If it were Me and it has been just not an actual hole I’d be outta there due to the spiders and crickets alone. Jiminy’s Cool.

If u can’t change and just stay a novice bunny hill—fine! Stay there. Build some confidence through experience.

And isn’t that another thing? Something specific motivates the fire under your (cuckoo!) and before you’d see the dark without any End of the tunnel and more importantly with the light aspect. All the sudden you care b/c what? It applies to you of course be selfish. Fascinating yet humbling.

Then there’s the ‘Why Me’ (?) phase? Not fully pitiful but just pretentious enough to resume the trailblaze. Bad attitude with a healthy dose of are we there yet and trying to Balance whether someone is saying …’they get it; you always feel bad’ so…KY Basketball banter? Ashamed accompanies too bc thing is a few times I did kind of scoff at phrases like I always feel bad. Like, here’s 2 Extra strength Tylenol.Alright, Ok, come test for Covid 1/29/22. It shouldn’t take going through something to empathize with or change but you could’ve listened for longer with a clear mind. Just cannot wrap your head around it and I think sometimes that’s okay. What’s next I’ll try so hard.

+ It’s 12:01am of 1/29/24 (so last night), you still can’t do math and/or struggle to add or subtract 12 so aren’t entirely sure its your sophomore year orientation, and you already surrender to what you didn’t want to get up for in the first place. Kind of silly u set the alarm! B/c Pain, confusion, Discomfort and a Deep loneliness that has very little to do with people awaits. That whole scenario is a disaster but look who’s standing and GOT. UP. period. 15 years ago that’s where I’d be. Just defeated.

THAT. Is enough some days. I say that to you struggling to believe the same but know Deep down.

Year 2 longhaul and youre wondering why there are anniversaries at all given about half are always sad or tragic. Evoking the worst on what could be the best. Might be something To think 2 minutes ago you’d ended your prayer to have a better Day. Of anything is true about everything happens for a reason I’d say having to chooose how to respond given you have the privilege at all to that just means were normal. B/c ill be honest I would not

I’m angry. WHAT is so complicated about your lack of Faith or belief prayer must go into an encrypted iCloud even the FBI can’t retrieve or interpret. Never had a chance! But I’ll add that it’s worth noting prayer doesn’t deal with its existence in transaction currencies..

Feel less Pain but feel more with it or stronger now. Or, just plain ‘ol numb. Similar to Addiction I suppose people get so used to being healthy one Way or another they don’t even notice better OR worse and no one is getting married.

Truth is.

Yea.

I’m in Hell, but I’m not on a ventilator. I’m not without relentless Support.

I still can smile but laugh just a bit before it hurts.

Something is always worse.

SomeONE is doing worse.

Somewhere and definitely rn.

I never knew I’d be dealing greed of perspective for this Long.

Something you’ll never find out about that changed your life’s trajectory where an explanation would have only confused things.

Then we still have the chance to be astonished and then genuine bc of that. Thankful. Expectant. With Faith somehow. Maybe carrying someone else’s Hope for a while might burden you less for a short time.

You dont need to see eye struggle and suffering. You dont need examples. You just know. There’s a fleeting peace u might not see again for 2 days but in knowing it’s not just you with the same bs going on.

Like here. Here is someone who needs support but in a different Way but how unique it could be to trade just for a bit. It’s not leg day this time remember u agreed a temp trade.

We don’t have to know everything. Most of the time I don’t give God the time to keep up w/ Me let alone do anything miraculous before I just hang up.

Although My Life was headed in a completely renewed direction in so many ways of recovery—

I got sick. Not because it was meant to be.

Because COVID. Possibly a rabid bat. Cracked vile or petri-dish

Everything does not happen for a reason and ppl dont like hearing that bc its an easy out. Says time might go on but this thorn wont ever heal. How do we respond? that’s the most authentic and a strength yes or no wand.

I hate cliché. Thing is tho…I think we all hate it b/c it doesn’t hold us accountable. Eh it’s fine.

Unfortunately we wouldn’t have the pretty, surprise, one of the Walk to Remember walks. All up to the of healing and forgiveness individual to each of us.

If for Me that means ive healed all I can and I’m counting on research to help Me out some more maybe I just keep going. Trust Me nothing is forgotten but you do know now that at least you were strong and capable enough to figure all that at all. And—I can do that. Some days aren’t that kind.

Maybe it becomes a goal we never anticipated but ✔ your resilience at the ticket line and saddle up, honey.this donkey only holds ____ lbs. let some things Go. That thing will still only walk in a circle but you’ve evenly distributed your baggage.

The feeling of pure joy. Which btw does still require a thesaurus b/c it is NOT the same as joy. Like a preventative Med to an acute one.

Then feel Accomplishment.

Not knowing what’s next but trying to be prepared.

It’s a surprise party we never RSVP’d and don’t regret it.

And it’s a Good thing u got outbid for that yacht.

Hell, tho, you won’t be forgotten but pushing helps the donkey move faster for now that is acceptable.

Unshun. Reshun. (This will make sense if you Watch the Office)

Flee fly. Be gone. Thankfully we hope to come out more resilient after the rip and tear and often not fully repaired sewing lessons.

But perhaps the biggest trait I’ve had to work on is My Pride. I want to do it.

I’ll give myself 3 strikes. 4 balls.

Then I walk to First.

Please do not get Me a gift.

I Love you and that was so sweet.

Would I be as generous?

Do u work, yea. It’s just one really hurts more and being tough isn’t tough at all if it’s not helping the worst hurt.

Those are sitting down, timeout thoughts.

The compression socks need to breathe.

But once the Pride slides over, let go, I get to know how it feels to very tangibly be taken care of and watched over.

Patience. The other side of a rant.

Later on that.

My main goal is to learn. Connect. Be called out if something comes off really tasteless.

Laugh at things that don’t have anything to do with being chronically sick. Laugh about what Medicine u had to administer and royally failed.

Sometimes all coupled with a handicap car-tag. No crutches either b/c I don’t like hearing I Will get better. It is a nice statement but it is impossible to be sure. Ive struggled with that b/c I know everyone believes that and means well I’ve just taken prior sick Gentry’s generalization and multiplied.

I am not making light. I think part of me is using the sarcasm as a coping mechanism.

Praise God there is something that does help the pain or at least distract from that Pain just not the one in your legs.

A codependency just a bit less severe. Embarrassing. Reason for judgment. Too easy.

If you can believe it—-I am not the same person I was 2 years ago.

For now I truly don’t know how. Pain can leave, anything traumatic can be worked on. You’ve got your scars.

I actually really think a scar is just unique as a snowflake or fingerprint. Telling so many stories. B/c a scar does mean something has healed. And it never forgets at one time it was painful. I’d prefer to see what I accomplish but I see wonder and beauty in them.

Things get pretty deep, complicated and downright pitifully sad. Vulnerable. Frighteningly true and relevant.

So I take what Good I can get in that day and pray those with LHC (Long-Haul COVID-19)

Be released.

However. On the flip tail’s side.

I’m 35 years aware there are some people who just don’t like me.

Until recently I wouldn’t have meant ‘sorry not sorry.’

I do now. To a respectable extent.

Reader discretion is advised. I promise I never set out to hurt anyone.

definitely not on purpose.

Because. Idgaf. Not bars being held. Que sera, sera.

complete transparency and seriously tho this doesn't mean i dont care. i wear my heart on my sleeve like a ding-dong ready to get hurt.

call it a diversion. we were on a break.

i just might take all of whatever hits wrong and turn that in to whatever ounce of assurance I can with the openness and to the best capability to learn new things and grow with compassion.

And back to writing—may already be just engrained but I don’t ever have a thesis, 3 supporting ideas or a better word then a conclusion.

You might find yourself confused. Reading it again prob won’t help.

Some will be really bad. Ugly. Waste of time. it was at least therapeutic for me.

Already is.

Even more might not make sense.

Read at your own risk, basically.

I have confidence but not really. Just enough not to care to change.

But I think about it. Because I’m wrong a lot.

challenge me. ill try to get through the fog.

But a lot of things have changed. in ways i might not even know Beauty in the Mess.

To sum up the above (sorry, there won’t be another summary after this disclaimer’s commercial intermission.)

I want to be as positive as possible.

Be in control of what I can. Ask for help for what I cannot.

I’m so ready to get My Life back. Trust Me and trust anyone Who tells your theyre in constant pain.

Really embarrassing I used to kind of scoff and be empathetic.

Funny how youre so sure of things.

Until it happens to you.

Suddenly it’s back to the drawing board and humility.

I wear my ღ on my sleeve. My greatest superpower and kryptonite.

What you read is as close to what you get as possible.

Balance can be unfair.

Please know that I care. I try harder than I ever had before. There are things I didn’t even Imagine could happen to someone when sick.

In all the ways I want to come out of this even better than what I envy I was entering into when I got sick.

There will be a WIDE range of thoughts similar to how i write. Mostly Sports and public figures and the politics I can comprehend.

B/c I know there’s someone out there who’s homeless because of this diagnosis. Or was deadly. Fired.

Divorced.

Ive become a bit of a nerd. Childish in some ways b/c you have to be creative…to be creative.

How do I even Start philosophizing that? So I don’t.

So I try My best to be the best I can. Inspire. Elicit laughter and new ways of thinking.

Questions.

Really tho? I just wanna be me.

thank you so sincerly to anything fromn a meme to a gift to a hug a prayer a smile, company, vibes if they can travel

but most of all

for holding hope when ive not been strong enough to.

For better or worse

for loving me.

making me feel heard.

idk what tomorrow holds but if its the same as today ill know at least i can make it and i am still beyond blessed and cared for and loved unconditionally.

even if forever.

wanna feel free, free.

to be me unabandoned.

changed for the better without knowing it.

some people dont have that option.

or even less the resource or safety to write about it.

Lastly mostly—I’m thankful for Insurance and the ability and privilege to work from home. And. Still have a job in general.

A Family and Family reserves holding me.

gentry.gonna.gents/g3

next. and if you made it this far, bless you.

thank you.

you mean more than you know to me. to anyone miscellaneous thanks as well and to my family and extended family and friends and job and insurance.

im in better shape than a lot. perspective sucks in the throes. selfish not selfish but my gosh turn the lights off. each journey is sooo different, but idk find the goodness and inspiration inbtw. There will be a rainbow soon enough, I wont make the bold claim and promise you one tho,

semi lastly and vulnerably, we've all been hurt. all going through something.

I say this every time something really bad happens. Ya know the ‘this is even worse,’ talk.

This one holds every candle.

Funny not funny none are the same and you’re never fully prepared.

and no one knows what it is you’re dealing.

give grace when I can’t sometimes.

cliché’s be damned lets just golden rule it b/c that one’s hard to do too but it sounds cute and Idont see a periodic table saying A! U! Be nice and welcoming.

I know I’ve forgotten something.

So I’ll fight.

But I still get to complain.

Feeling so entitled to this ill.

Sincerely,

Gentry

no ps you're welcome

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7rashstar · 8 months ago

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i didn’t rly sleep last night yap sesh below the cut

missed mayday festivities because i am debilitatingly socially anxious but then went camping for a friends bday and felt refreshed by being able to see soooo many stars and be outside…(and go on the most extreme hike of my life dude omfg)

while we were camping my digi cam fell out of my pocket when i laid on the ground to look at the sky and stars and it stormed that night and my camera got destroyed. hoping the sd card is salvageable..

creepy had hella ticks on him (including one thats head got stuck in his uhh..wiener lol) went to the vet got em removed in total there were 8 (!!) that we found. he has so much fur man idk there could be some more on him but at least they’d be dead atp because i ALSO finally got a flea tick preventative that he can take monthly. it’s been impossible to get a vet appointment anywhere, especially at the clinic i’ve been taking him to since he was a bb. praying he didn’t contract anything from the ticks…we’ll get a blood test sometime in september-december

bestie soup told me u could see the northern lights in the city last night + they sent me some pics but i pulled a leg muscle skating n it hurt too bad to waddle over to the overpass (plus there’s been several shootings in my neighborhood the past couple weeks outside my building so i don’t rly like going out at night rn anyway)

yesterday oomf texted the gc n said a friend of a friend asked him where to listen to my music online bc they loved my set :’)) the last time i played a show was the beginning of march!!!! that made me feel rly good so now i have more incentive to finally upload things to soundcloud again. might work on that later today…like. might,…finally post something

he said he sent them a link to my old bandcamp and i forgot i never deleted my music there i only scrubbed my sc so i went over n listened to what i posted. it was kinda cute. in 2020 i started using ableton for the first time consistently and actually tried to figure out how to make stuff w it so everything f from that time is like. ahh. i’d do that so different now!! but at the time i was so proud of myself and that makes me feel kinda fuzzy (in a good way) like noticeable artistic growth yanno? n also knowing that version of myself who was constantly suffering and seeking an End still felt excited abt what i was making. it’s cute. my old self is someone ive made peace w and hold close to my heart in the ‘it’s different now and it’s Awesome’ way like fuck yea lil buddy you got clean and made it out alive. that’s sick

some of my old music goes hard asf too tho. a lot of unreleased stuff on my google drive i dug thru after listening to my bandcamp i don’t even rly remember making but i was like :0 !!

i was up until 5:30am working on a flyer !! i wanna make more flyers!! i miss making flyers. i’m outta practice and using procreate bc i don’t have photoshop anymore so still a newbie on the program front but i think. i did a good job and it looks cool so that’s nice

i rly wanna skate but my leg hurts i feel like that spongebob guy

#my leg!!#sleepless brain foggy screwed up my med schedule this week ramblings #to the void #thx for listening

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feralghxuls · 2 years ago

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i would LOVE to hear more about jewel and em!!! (jewel is such a cute name for a ghoul aaaaa)

AAAH YAY i am excited to talk about them hehehe

i'll start with Em because jewel's backstory is a doozy

this is the picrew i made of Em!

i don't know much about Em yet, she's very cagey about her history, but she's an earth ghoul, very traditional butch, she is mates with Mist. she's pretty deadpan, no-bullshit type of attitude but she's very protective of the ghouls she likes.

she often does guard duty for ghouls in heat, particularly those who prefer to ride it out alone. she'll stand outside their door and fend off unapproved ghouls who come sniffing, make sure the ghoul in heat has plenty of food and water and supplies

she is a backstage ghoulie, typically in charge of uniforms but she's been known to fill in on drums or bass if needed during rehearsals and the occasional show

now for jewel!

i got carried away with her outfits so here's several versions of her picrew lol

jewel is very old. like really fucking old. all the ghouls are old if you count their time in hell, but she's been on earth since she was first summoned like a thousand years ago. i was going to try to sum up my notes on her but i was encouraged to simply drop the 1.5k words i have for her, so here skshfhsh

it's kind of disjointed at first but bear with me, it becomes more cohesive later. also featuring some element headcanons (quintessence specifically) and a light sprinkle of sister imperator hc. and me doing generous worldbuilding

besties wake up new ghoul oc just dropped

her name is jewel, she's an earth ghoul but she's been through the other elements (in order: air, fire, water, and now earth) & she's waiting to become a quinty soon (note: i think that quintessence ghouls are either born into the element like the rest, but they can also be made via element transformation rituals but only after they have been each of the other main elements first. doesn't really matter what order)

also she's trans. ghouls don't really give a shit about human gender ideas, but jewel is so enamored by humans and human customs that she just. decided to be trans. and i love that for her

(and also jewel and em used to have... Something. neither of them will give much more information than that

back when jewel was a fire ghoul apparently, so probably a long time ago, bc she was a water ghoul after fire and is currently earth and she tends to stay as one element for quite a while)

also just thinking about how quinties that have been made probably have tons of people they've forgotten about over the course of their element changes

waugh. i think there's definitely some important people jewel has lost memories of, she's very old and has been on the surface a long time

i think she may have even had a lifemate before, & she struggled a lot with memory loss after her first transformation and they tried to make it work but…

anyway that may be why she's a flirt but doesn't seem to be interested in engaging with anyone who seems more seriously interested

like i think she's aware she's lost someone very important but it gets hazy after that

like how when you Know you're forgetting something but you dont know what it is

and it's like. when you Know you have memory loss but you can't even remember what you don't remember

and you might be aware of some things you've forgotten, but then it's like well what about all the things you're not aware you've forgotten

[here is the Meat of the lore]

jewel's been around for a long long time, but unlike ancient (yes i know they picked the name quinn but whatever, i think calling them ancient is fun) who spends a couple decades or centuries topside but ultimately prefers it in hell with lucifer, whereas jewel was summoned once and stayed

after the very first church who summoned her crumbled, she realized she did not want to go back to the pit and bolted as soon as it became clear they were starting to clear out the ghouls. they might have tried to send them back, but it wasn't pretty and they decided it was more effort than it was worth so...the ones they caught, they killed. so yeah. jewel got the hell out of dodge.

she ended up just kinda wandering around earth for a while, until another (small, amateur) church of satan got the same bright idea to summon ghouls. she's topside but she still heard the call and made her way over to help out, which was good bc these guys had no idea what to expect with new summons and she was able to simmer down the chaos a bit before they mauled everyone for being idiots (most ghouls aren't exactly stable when first summoned, even with all of the precautions in place. so you can imagine the disaster that happens when a church that doesn't really know what they're doing tries a summoning)

needless to say that didn't last very long, and when this church realized they were in way over their heads (which took longer than you'd think after summoning literal demons), they had no idea how to send them back, but luckily they'd only summoned a few and they respected jewel enough to stick with her for a while.

they holed up away from humans for about a century or so before the call came again. it made the rest of the ghouls antsy and twitchy, and they refused to go with jewel when she wanted to check it out (she was now worried that it's another group of amateurs who are going to get themselves killed and release a bunch of fresh summons into the world)

jewel tried to stay with her pack for a while, but she just couldn't in good conscience not go see who was summoning, so she left & they became the first group of feral ghouls

(sidenote i think that there are certain rituals that are more likely to summon certain types of ghouls, and certain rituals that just get you a random ghoul, but ultimately it's one of those things where it's a bit of a grab bag of whichever ghouls may have been more inclined to respond, or, depending on the power behind the ritual, just yoinks a ghoul at random. and that even ghouls who are topside, if they're not already "claimed" they can sense the call too)

this is kind of her pattern throughout her life, with varying lengths of time depending on how successful a church is, and occasionally she'll drop off a ghoul with her original pack that is really struggling but really doesn't want to go back to the pit

over time she starts to be able to distinguish between calls made by people who know what the hell they're doing and calls made by idiots. she tends to follow the call to the idiots and Be Terrifying in order to scare them off of doing this on their own again, but if she likes the church she's with at the time she'll collect them and bring them back with her to her church

...also eventually she figures out how to send ghouls home to the pit, and she will not hesitate to do so if they are dangerous topside & express that they want to go back. she'll be like, "you want to go home? done."

over time she develops this affection for humanity in the way that very old characters tend to, but also a deep sadness bc she watches the same patterns over and over (and also she keeps getting attached to humans…)

so by the time the church that starts ghost forms, she's been around for....probably a good thousand years. they summon. she comes. there's something different about this group, a darker kind of determination she doesnt see a lot. first of all, theyre not scared of her or the other ghouls they summon. (following the idea that seestor is Old As Fuck, way older than she should be, i think at this time she is just a sister of sin. but she's there. and so is mister saltarian)

but needless to say, jewel is intrigued, and she was between churches anyway, so she stays. this group is the most ruthless she's seen with dismissing ghouls & summoning more, except sometimes they don't even send them back to hell, they just kick them out (they give no shits about releasing ghouls into humanity, they kinda want to see what happens). by now jewel has set ghouls up to live as a feral pack dozens of times, and the first ghoul the ghost church just kicked to the curb, she took them back to one of the nearby (kind of. it wasn't really that close) feral packs, but when it became clear they were going to keep doing this, she started helping the ghouls who got kicked out get set up in the mountains nearby (a lot closer than the other pack, but definitely far enough away from civilization they wouldn't cause any trouble. probably. generally, ghouls that form feral packs like that want nothing to do with humans anyway, but they have no qualms about eating any who stray too close)

this church is fucking ferocious about snapping up any wayward humans and bringing them into the church, they don't shy away from rituals, and jewel is fascinated with their idea for spreading the good bad word. there's been satanic bands, that's nothing new, she's hung out with a few of them & picked up some instruments (she tells me she's good buds with candlemass sjdhdh)

but a church forming a band primarily of ghouls and whatever the hell nihil is, that is new. so of course jewel wants in, and she's their most valuable ghoul so they let her (the amount of times she stopped them from doing rituals that would've gotten them all killed or stopped fresh summons from going on rampages is not small, and they respect that)

and that brings us to current times

...also actually though. the current clergy were the first ones to figure out the element change ritual topside (usually this is done only in hell, it's dangerous topside if you don't do it right) and they were going to do it on some poor random ghoul until jewel stepped in and said they should do it to her instead. and that they really want her to look over their ritual first

which actually i think quinn (remember ancient ghoulie? yeah him) steps in too, gently reminding jewel she hasn't been home in a thousand years and she may be a little rusty. he, however, does this all the time in hell, and oversees the whole thing to make sure they don't fucking kill jewel on accident

which brings me to the point that quinn and jewel met when she was quite young, i think they knew each other in the pit but more in the way that you know of the Big Boss Man in the company you work for and he pretends like he remembers you when he visits the store

but anyway, he was fascinated by her dedication to helping the dumb little humans and makes a point to find her whenever hes on the surface, and they are pretty close these days. although she mostly finds him annoying and thinks he should be doing something besides using the humans as his personal entertainment whenever he's topside, but they have the kind of bond you can only have with someone you've known for a thousand years, so there's that

#dorito.txt #dorito writes #dorito answers #LORE BOMB #thank u so much anon #anyway i love jewel so much. she is SO.#and em. i love em too #and zeph and quinn/ancient #i'll write up a post about those two sometime too #em ghoul #jewel ghoul #i need yall to know that everything after the note about getting into the meat of it #was dropped into discord at like 1am #and then copy pasted from there into a document and then from there to here #with light editing for coherency lmao

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yersina · 2 years ago

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Tbh I wanna ask the whole thing but to stick to the realm of reasonability may I ask 7, 10, 14, 23, and 29? And anything else you might want to answer if there's any. 🦭 [decompresses from the lack of pressure]

[weird questions for writers]

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Ohhh what an interesting question! I think what I love most abt writing—why I still write even if it only results in unfinished wips—is… hm how to put this… an execution of an idea? Putting my own spin on a concept? Bringing smth to life from my mind and onto a page? Like I just love thinking about things, and writing gives me a way to share that w other ppl or put it into words, and that’s what’s best about it!

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

LOL uh the first definition that comes to mind for a piece of writing ‘haunting’ me is in the ‘god why did I write this’ sense, in which case I’d probably say my fanfic from my hetalia days……. A full ten years ago at this point…… But I’m also an advocate for not being ashamed of your writing no matter how old or cringy it is bc we all had to start somewhere right? And it still brought me joy at one point even if it doesn’t anymore, so I wouldn’t exactly say that it really does haunt me per se haha

The other sense of ‘haunting’ is probably ‘I think abt it a lot’ in which case—my wips haunt me. OTL

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I do! Not as much (read: at all) anymore bc my friends and I have all diverged in terms of preferences and also physical location, but in high school, sometimes I’d even give my kindle acct in order to share ebooks haha.

But I’ve also always been a library person, and my physical collection is exceedingly small. I also don’t tend to reread anything? So I only buy books if there’s a reason I’d want to display it and/or come back to it. And it’s hard to lend books if you don’t own them haha. I would lend them if I had any though!

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

So. Most often I’m on my bed (full size, cheap, IKEA) and on top of my blankets (cheap, Amazon). I do most of my work in bed and lying down lol and also on my phone bc if I waited until I had my computer I would get nothing done. It’s probably either late at night or very early in the morning (bc I am unfortunately both a night owl and an early bird—no sleep for me!), so the light is rather dim. I have several larger stuffed animals w me on my bed (one is ice bear from CN, one’s a weighted dragon plushie, and one’s a really loooong shiba-dog-thing that’s probably close to my height) that I can prop my head up on or squash beneath me, depending on my mood. I also have an extra pillow to put against the wall for if I do decide to do anything while sitting up (currently cuddling it as I write this). A lot of what I own is a shade of blue or green. There’s a string of white Christmas lights around the wall next to my bed bc I can’t stand the brightness of the overhead light. Currently there’s a half-finished quilt rolled up beside me.

Really tho I write anywhere inspiration strikes me. Once I wrote a decent chunk while sitting in my car in the parking lot of a homegoods lol

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

Hm… my inspiration probably comes most often from other people! I had a ton of fun with all the sctir prompts I got a while back :) A lot of my favorite ideas that I’ve executed comes from putting a spin on an existing trope or concept, or from seeing smth around tumblr or twitter and wanting to write my own version.

My inspiration well runs dry very often, actually. I’m a huge binge-writer—most of what you see from me is stuff that I wrote within a couple days, which is why most of my fics tend to be short. I’m definitely not one of those ‘write a little bit every day!!’ kind of people—that would never work for me, and kinda drains my soul. Trust me I’ve tried lol (case in point: I managed to do an entire nanowrimo a couple years ago (the whole 50k!) and never touched or looked at that fic ever again. Was a fantastic exercise, but just not the way I work). Usually if I have an active wip, I do try to go back to it every couple days, just to make sure I don’t forget about it entirely haha. If I’m not actively working on an idea, I try not to let it bother me too much; the waiting is as much a part of my writing process as the actual writing. I’m all for making it easier for yourself—fanfic writing is a hobby, not a job, and I’m here for my own enjoyment more than anything else. I want to lean into it most when I’m happiest, yknow? :)

Bonus question for fun: 11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Yes absolutely!!! This isn’t to say that you should ruthlessly get rid of what you love most in your writing, but definitely don’t be too attached to every single word you write. The writing advice that I’ve found most helpful so far in my writing journey is: if you’re stuck in your writing, the problem isn’t with the current scene or paragraph, it’s what happened before. I’ve also had an English teacher suggest to us once that we should try rewriting something from memory to pare down to what’s most important (bc anything you don’t remember isn’t essential). I start over all the time if smth’s not working for me and I delete and go back if I get stuck. If I’m getting rid of smth that’s longer, I do try to keep it around or move it to a separate doc in case I need to use it later, or to try and incorporate into a different scene so that I’m not dropping it entirely, but I’ve found myself doing that less and less as I go. It’s annoying, maybe, but I don’t grieve haha

Kill your darlings, for sure 🔪

(ALSO the best part abt fanfiction is that even if a scene that you really love doesn’t work in the main sequence, you’re allowed to write spin offs and side stories and extra scenes as much as you want to lol. Like killing your darlings doesn’t have to mean you resign it to never seeing the light of day, maybe you just fake their death and move them to a different neighborhood skdnejcbjdd)

#sina answers #bijoucher #ask meme #sorry this got long!#was definitely fun to think abt :)#a lot of my writing process and habits boil down to ‘make this easy for yourself’ haha

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mirahuyooo · 2 years ago

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Stranded [Why Dionysus?] | jhs

[masterlist] | check out [Elysian Tales] & [BTS as Greek Myth Icons]!

have you read [Stranded]?

A/N: As promised, here's the messy "rationale" and the melting pot of ideas i had for writing Stranded! Again, TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT bc i may be wrong with some of the mythology parts ✌😭✌

WHY DIONYSUS?

I get that Hoseok is mostly depicted as Apollo in these sorts of AUs, but Dionysus, man! DIONYSUS—Olympian god of wine, vegetation, pleasure, festivity, madness, and wild frenzy.

I know it’s usually Jimin for this type of thing too, but at the time (when I made this series lol) it just screamed JUNG HO SEOK to me somehow, you feel?

Albeit, we all know how drunk Hoseok gets now (at the time I didn't lmao), I feel like since he'd be a god in this AU, he's bound to have greater alcohol tolerance 😅👌 BESIDES, Hobi would be all up on that dance floor! I just really thought that having him as Dionysus would be a nice change and it was v v fun (ToT)/~~~💖

Also, the love story of Dionysus and Ariadne gave me quite the uwu, so I thought I could add a bit more to the story for some cute shit 🥰

When it came to the whole sacrifice to the Minotaur thing though, I made a lot of shit up because some say that Athens had to bring tributes every 9 years, but some said it was every year??? (I AM CONFUSION 😭😭😭)

Anyways, to fit my fictional narrative (a.k.a her seeing the start of the downfall of her family), I had to do the some maths and vague research AHAHAHHA i.e. searching how long it takes for a calf to turn into a bull (two years according to Google) bc Asterion started causing real trouble as he grew older lmao (he’s a beast raised to be a monster after all) + the fact that Theseus joined the third batch of the tributes to slay the Minotaur + Ariadne!Y/N being in her 20s???

I ended up settling for “every five years” (making Y/N 24-ish by the time she ran away, if Asterion the Minotaur was born when she was around 7 and he was locked up in the labyrinth when she was 9)

ThIS WAS A WHOLE LOT OF WORK 👁👄👁

P.S. I was planning to have (Y/N) die, since it’s part of some version of myths abt Dionysus and Ariadne, but it felt like it would be a repeat of Yoongi’s story so uh… i just left her at a near-death experience 🤪🤪🤪

WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MYTH?

Again, there are a lot of versions of this mythology.

With Ariadne’s upbringing, it was hard to get conclusive points??? All we know is that it’s in Crete, she’s a princess, her mom fucked a bull as a result of a divine curse, and her dad’s an all around j e r k LMAO I was also shocked to find out that the Minotaur had a name???? I kinda felt bad after ngl lmao

AnyWAYS, several sources called Ariadne “mistress of the labyrinthe” (and that she might actually be a goddess too??) and that either way when Theseus came she fell hard like a SIMP ✋😭 She and her sister, Phaedra, both did, but it was Ariadne who helped Theseus with a thread (a clew) to let him know his way out of the labyrinthe after slaying the Minotaur (some sources say she was clever enough to do it on her own, but some say she asked Daedalus for help)

Theseus, so glad that this chick is here to help him out, asks her to marry him once he returns successful, but some sources say that Ariadne asked him to. Another version also said that she asked him for marriage as protection since she's committing treason for helping him.

Either way, when the beast was slain, they obviously had to book it out of there before anyone could discover that they unalived the Minotaur.

In Hesiod (and most of the other versions), Theseus abandons Ariadne on the island of Naxos after she had helped him and had fled Crete with him. Other accounts claim that Theseus was told (by Athena or Dionysus) to leave her there for the wine god as a sacrifice, because the island was Dionysus' territory. It was said in the Odyssey that Theseus had “no joy for her”, and had no issues with leaving her to Dionysus. Although, there are still some accounts that do depict him being distraught about the abandonment. Either way, he still left her there.

So, with that, I had opted for the route of him being told to do it, but is still a jerk about it lol.

(This decision was fuelled by my utter anger for the myth where Theseus and his best bud, Pirithous, decided to kidnap daughters of Zeus to marry. Theseus chose to kidnap Helen of Troy, who was twelve at that time, and intended to keep her until she was old enough to marry—bLEGHH)

Theseus is a hero, yes, but he was still a bastard lmao (SO i went ham on making him the (sort of) villain in this story WHAHAH i am petty and biased, I'm so sorry)

Alas, his kidnapping of Helen of Troy seems to have happened long after his time with Ariadne, so as much as I wanted to trash on him, I couldn’t do so very much :DDDD

Phaedra (her sister), on the other hand, ended up being the queen of Athens because she was either abducted by Theseus or arranged for political marriage with him by their oldest brother King Deucalion (bc at this point, their dad, Minos, got murked in Sicily looking for Daedalus lol) She then proceeds to later get cursed to thirst after her stepson, Hippolytus :DDD

Anyways, at Naxos, Dionysus saw Ariadne and fell in love with her, deciding to put a ring on it. Ariadne had many children with Dionysus and she was said to be faithful to him, but according to some myths, she killed herself because of Theseus before they get to meet??? Other versions say that she was killed—either by Perseus (with medusa’s head) or Artemis (at Dionysus' request?? Bc she and Theseus banged at a sacred grotto or cave or something—ig this is probs in the version where he doesn't love her yikes).

Also, (in the myths where they are lovey dovey but Ariadne, for some reason, dies) Dionysus, after becoming a full-fledged god of Olympus, goes to the underworld to get his mother and wifey back (sacrificing either a grapevine of his first love (Ampelos) or his thyrsus—this one's a bit unclear so I decided to omit it from the storyline lol) and went to Mount Olympus to be with her forevs. He also made her into a deity along with his mother, and then put her wedding crown to the sky as the constellation Corona Borealis!

Dionysus is a bastard of Zeus (a lot are LMAo) through his priestess Semele, and was the first god to be born a deity even with a mortal parent. He’s unwelcomed in Olympus though (mostly bc Hera is v v salty) and so he lived his life on Earth, at some point getting dismembered by Titans and/or going insane from a curse by Hera, and getting reborn because of the shit he goes through. He becomes the last god to enter Olympus after his cult fully establishes itself in Greece, and this part (I read) happens AFTER he met Ariadne (that’s why the plot is the way it is lol). This is also why there are sources that say Ariadne accompanied Dionysus in his travels, helping him spread his cult and influence.

Also, also, the animals associated with him are panthers (leopard), tigers, bulls and serpents, and is often depicted as riding a leopard or a chariot drawn by leopards. (I made up the name Agrios though!)

This has been a rollercoaster and my head is pACKED Imma need to sit down whEW!!

Thanks for Reading!

#mira thoughts #spoilers for elysian tales lmao #extra stuff for mira's stories lol #so glad i managed to finish this BIG ass fic 💖

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tumbwr · 2 years ago

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i initially wanted to put this all in tags but i'm far too interested in this, and wanna document it on my bloggy :) :

im trans/neurodiv, and my body IS me / part of me, other parts of me include my brain / my brain's processes / my being / my consciousness / my me-ness etc, but the Physical space that *i* occupy in this world is Me; I.E. my body. the things i affect are like, 'extensions' so to speak, of me, like my collection of rubik's cubes or my electronics or my guitars.

for me to think otherwise (for me to think that my body "isn't" me / my body is a tool) would mean im severely depersonalizing / dissociating severely; and that's not fun for me ofc.

OOOH hang on, and this'll take a mental-health-talk-tangent: i do say "my brain does this" or "my brain does x" especially when referring to my neurodivergency; because it's not something i like, *consciously* do. when my brain is having those hashtag adhd moments, i say as i did in the beginning of this sentence, 'my brain is having an adhd moment.' whereas like, if i'm typing this up right now i can say "i'm typing this", it'd feel inaccurate to me if i were to say "my body is typing this" -- because like, while techincally correct, it's simply just more accurate to say *I* am doing the typing. my adhd [feels more accurate to say My adhd rather than the adhd that affects my brain or something of the like... hmm] anyway my adhd developed much stronger symptoms post HRT - so it's not like i've known adhd for a long time.

Anxiety, on the other hand, *feels* like apart of me. i don't remember a moment in my life where i wasnt socially anxious. i still get socially anxious especially on my bad days, these days. i just remember being young and nervous or scared. i probably thought it was normal. anxiety's like, a friend who's... anxious.

so when i refer to 'my anxiety' like i did in this sentence just now- it *does* feel (more) like a Part of me, and not like, a mental illness that affects me (like i think of ADHD as a mental illness that has affected me / is affecting me), although this phrase / thinking probably is another valid way of describing my anxiety.

when i think about "my" depression, i think of it similarly to anxiety but it's ugly, and not familiar. not As familiar. i started having depressive symptoms in highschool, so not as long as anxiety, and longer than my adhd. it feels accurate to say "this mental illness *affects* me" rather than "i am depressed", prolly bc of the version of depression i have, and the onset of the illness.

TLDR for these previous four paragraphs: anxiety is like a long time friend, who i've grown accustomed to and like 'would enjoy a personification of it' and also i don't enjoy when i'm anxious. depression feels like a person i've known in my life who can fuck off. adhd feels like a new friend who i could get accustomed to (with meds lol) but it, outside of this like analogy, is soemthing that affects me

maybe the way one relates to their mental illness has something to do with onset or timing of mental illness (ie my anxiety being as far back as i can remember versus depression which developed later versus adhd which developed post initial / testostrogeneic puberty),

another thought is that this makes me think about all the sorts of spiritual / mental exercises (coming from someone who grew up hindu) that sort of illustrate how you canlike, practice putting your awareness or attention on the act of observing the "knower" "knowing" and "known"; the knower being the like, part of you / your Awareness, Knowing being the process of knowing or gathering information, and the Known or that which is observable. [for those who know: ऋषि, ṛṣi // देवता devatā, छ्हान्दस् chhāndas] [correct me on my spelling it's been a while lol]

anyway thanks op for the post, sorry for rambling, this was mostly for me, i admit. cool post

Wait do normal people really see their bodies as part of themselves and who they are and not just something they happen to inhabit and they make the best of it/just accept it/learn to live with it???

Apparently I can only add a poll by editing it in and not by reblogging but here:

#diary #sorry if this is annoying to anyone; truly just wanted to process some brain things of mine #im gonna reblog a version of this so u dont have to like spread it lmao #thanks again op !#posting

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lemonhemlock · 2 months ago

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Congratulations on being on the way to become a future wife!! The timing of it happening just after you got whipped by the priest makes it even funnier. Not sure though, but I think it will take another long rest trigger his scene. The next long rest after entering the goblin camp will trigger the first scene with your dream guardian so that will take priority before any potential love scene.

By the way, if you've decided to knock out Minthara to recruit her later in act 2, make sure you do NOT take Halsin with you if you saved him in the worg pens. He will either kill her himself or her recruitment will potentially bug out. If you get to him before dealing with her, just tell him to wait there and ignore him from then on, he will eventually find his way by himself back to the grove.

no, no, i already had my first dream guardian sequence! it was right after i convinced lae'zel not to kill me, the entire camp and then herself because i was feverish :)))))) all in a day's (night's) work!! unfortunately this man was telling me to trust the tadpole and that, not to worry, he'll prevent me from becoming a squid person, so with a heavy heart i decided not to trust HIM because that just sounds whack. it was v hard bc he is v hot (i made him, after all, and gave him brat hair) and he seems to know what he's talking about. he has more rizz put together than my loser male companions but i'm squinting my eyes @ him from a distance

i also accidentally clicked on a gale flirting option (i've been successfully avoiding the shadowheart and lae'zel ones so far. shadowheart's was so easy to get and lae'zel unlocked hers at like 20-smth approval rating. crazy.) and got this cringe sequence of him trying to show ME (another wizard, mind you) how the weave works 🤡 but i did my best to friendzone him by imagining us having a hearty meal together

not that astarion flirting with me was much better in the cringe department, but at the very least hilarious considering the timing. unfortunately, i also freed volo beforehand so i suppose i'll get his sequence when i hit long rest. which won't happen anyway for quite some time because i have all spell slots & two short rests available to decimate the goblin camp rn. so our budding romance will have to be put on hold. (for the record, i am NOT going to let that clown perform brain surgery on me lol). i also made astarion lockpick and free liam, to which he didn't even object (not even a hiss or complaint! boo!)

i did not find halsin yet but did speak to minthara. i saw on reddit that, with the latest patch, you don't have to have her temporarily hostile anymore and could just knock her out? i did not know about not bringing halsin with me, that seems tricky. i guess i'm gonna have to try several versions of this battle if i want to have both those fools in my camp. i have neither a paladin, nor a druid, so it would be a chance for me to see how it is to play those classes

but in the meantime i think i'm going to pick up some of the junk i left in the traveller's chest and sell it to the merchant in the goblin camp for some more coin

i'm gonna answer the rest of your messages when i get some time but about the spoilers - yeah i had to be spoiled about some stuff bc i otherwise would not have started playing in a million years so :)) you know :)) but from now on i'm gonna at least try to not seek out very many details or arch-narratives, so that i can preserve at least some semblance of freshness when i get to them :)) so, going forward, as a procedure, i'll just ask about specific things if i want to know about them. thank you so much for your help & i hope you have a lovely week! (also don't worry you didn't tell me much i didn't already know/suspect)

#ask #anon #miss lemon plays bg3 #anti astarion

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withleeknow · 6 months ago

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oh I hope this is the start of a better week + I'm always here to send you good vibes 🌸🩷

speaking of vibes, you bet your ass the first thing I did this morning was indulge in WT7: https://we.tl/t-V3WgzvQv2g

firstly DAY6??? - such impeccable taste in song choice (whenever it pops up on my playlist, my brain always shamelessly hears mimo's version)

secondly DOVE??? 🕊 - drive the stake further through my heart why don't you

thirdly “you really don't see it, do you?” - OH MY GOD the creative direction to leave it here before 7.5 - woman you're going to be the death of me

fourthly; this whole chapter spoke to me on another stratosphere bc [🍙 confession hours] as an INTJ with an avoidant-attachment style, OP's emotional processing here is what I process in virtually all of my non-familial relationships (both romantic and platonic) to varying degrees. so here's a v personal thank you for encapsulating that in such an eloquent and articulate manner ♡

fifthly; A MIMO POV??? I'm not ready for this shit, Jen. I'm genuinely not ready. ily.

my tax: we've established the husband agenda that our 🐈‍⬛ radiates but today I'll give you action-spy x James Bond-esque x mafia-(but they're technically vampires)-themed husband https://tinyurl.com/355pnxpu

+ gyu/soobin: https://tinyurl.com/4744jtze their dramatic asses in this are pushing me to binge their to-dos

P.S. all of my asks are designed to (gently) push you into the enha rabbithole bc they have my entire heart and sharing is caring <3

today was actually kinda okay! thank youu, let's hope we all have a peaceful last week of june 🥹

you know i had to use that song ever since mimo covered it !!! i thought it was especially fitting for this chapter hehehhe. and dove !!! i kinda had to stop building that up in the previous chapters bc i didn't want to make a big deal out of what she's saved as in his phone when it's just dove 😂 although, between you and me (and whoever else is reading this), i'll circle back to that later bc it's the last line of the series <3

i'm really glad you enjoyed this one! i was a little nervous bc i wanted this one to be sad and as i was nearing the end, it just didn't really feel sad to me (or maybe i've just become desensitized to it) but thankfully people find it angsty enough! 😂 i also didn't know if this one would resonate as much bc oc is just all over the place and feeling all kinds of contradicting things and she just doesn't have a clear/linear thought process. but i am glad that you were able to relate 🥹 there's a little bit of me in all of my oc's so this is probably more common ground for us too lol 🥹

last week i wanted to write a short drabble from mimo's pov but yesterday as i was finishing the chapter, i thought it'd be pretty neat to do a longer thing from his pov and also cut the last scene of wt7 shorter so that it can finish in 7.5 from his pov hehehehe. i'm excited to write that hehehhehe

WHAT IS THATTTTTTTT. one minute he's cat husband-ing and the next he's flipping a gun in the air and pew pew pew-ing. how did you know spy aus are my guilty pleasure... am i gonna think about this for next several working days... we'll have to start watching en-o'clock very very soon

oh my babies 😭 you really should watch to-do! it's so adorable, and beomgyu is so cute he really is the highlight of my life these days lol.

#re: wishful thinking #🍙 anon #answered

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misqnon · 9 months ago

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hi. march. slowly shortening this introduction to my posts. sorry if this is a little incoherent i woke up in the middle of the night and im getting sleepy again

i tried looking up fanfiction involving hannyabul and magellan the other day and there was almost none??? i really thought theyd be .. at least a little popular ... the dynamics... arent the dynamics similar to zosan or cavendish and bartolomeo.. dont people like that.. (i wouldnt know since ive never really been a fan of the enemies/rivals to lovers trope)

im pretty sure kidd wears a beast pirate disguise? and like .. good for him... (good for me).. hes got the titties out. i love men. i also rly enjoy the few frobin moments we get when theyre in disguise, theyre super cute!! it seems like u havent been spoiled on the Biggest Moments in wano so im very very glad to hear that. it also kind of has a mystery aspect so i think its probably way more enjoyable to go in blind. there IS a special kind of anticipation when u know what's coming but.. imo its more fun to guess how things will go rather than know and be excited about it

honestly i didnt care for the setting either. in the anime tho .. big mom's introduction is so good. theres a song that plays (its in the manga too but it's way better to hear it rather than... read lyrics) and when i started wci i was still watching the anime, so i got to listen to the song. it was stuck in my head for days. very catchy. i love how theatrical it is and it really made me excited for the arc .. and then i ended up barely enjoying it LOL. also i do actually love pudding but her age also makes me go... ewww. oda made an awful decision making her 16 . gives me kyros flashbacks.. although sanji doesnt seem to be genuinely interested in her. but still like why did oda do that... why... what is the point ... wci does pick back up a bit imo after they get sanji back (which i think is the part ur at? or a little bit after?) and i honestly think it wraps up quite nicely. and yeah.. most importantly.. katakuri is introduced in the second half. lovely guy. i heart him

robin's va did that in. one take??? that is Insane?? she genuinely channeled robin in that moment wtf

i will definitely talk abt opla if/when i watch it. even if zoro doesnt have his goofiness at least i can thirst over him. am i into mackenyu? no.. zoro? yeahs........ also i can definitely see how jacob being too hot is an issue for usopp LOL. some people just.. ooze confidence.. and are too smooth. i think ill probably enjoy his characterization anyways tho cuz i adore usopp

i cant draw women for the life of me but transfem sanji is haunting my brain and.. she made me attempt .. attempt to draw a lady. its her. shes the lady.

YOU THOUGHT OF ME??? im so flattered U have no idea aikfjshdjd. law.. i.. hes a little fucked up.. human art pieces . actually as someone who's done a bit of sculpture (but not abstract art. and it was ceramics) i can appreciate it. if he didnt use real living people in his art i would definitely appreciate it more.. but i imagine seeing a severed head on a sculpture and then they start talking to u.. i imagine that would be a Little.. scary... just a little . i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing law .

i think its semi canon?? theres a moment in the anime (idk if its in the manga or not) where bepo gives law.. puppy dog? eyes? but like .. polar bear version. and law is clearly weak to that. also he calls chopper a tanuki even after being asked not to bc chopper has a cute reaction (he gets mad). so i think he IS weak to cute animals. he is very similar to robin like that... they would definitely bond over choppers cuteness. and they both have weird taste.. in cute animals. its not bunnies or idk. dogs or cats. robin likes pathetic animals (the dragon that had to carry them all up to zou) and law likes . bepo. a 7 foot tall polar bear man.

THATS SUCH A STRANGE COINCIDENCE. this is my first time moving since ive lived in the same place my whole life .. so its kinda exciting and also kinda scary.

OH so u can send images but it just cant be on anon. im.. one day... one day for sure.. (soon). i grew up on twitter tho .. yeah. and before that it was youtube. i have been on the internet since the beginning of time (since i was in single digits. like 5 maybe idk, but i do remember being able to make my own youtube account at 7, and i had been using my brothers before that). my dark past. since ive been on the internet so long i just accept that theres probably a load of my personal information out there for anyone to see. and also a bunch of embarrassing things I've said from years ago. sometimes i come across a youtube comment from when i was like 9 and its always a bit shocking LOL

I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED WITH SESSHOMARU. when i found out .... it .. it .. i.... i dont have words. its so upsetting 😭. actually ive kind of been trying to get into vocaloid bc i recently (like 2 years ago) found out i had been listening to it.. and i didnt know. i didnt realize it was vocaloid

LOL, i say IT COUNTS. i dont draw in my mind cuz i have slight aphantasia. i imagine drawing in ur head is way more relaxing than actually drawing... cuz like... the struggle of anatomy.. proportions.. lighting.. colors.. yeah art is so hard.

there havent been any sbs's recently i dont think?? like they stopped at some point during wano and .. idk what happened. i miss it .. i want to ask about the giant snails that pull germa's ship... well i want someone else to ask about it really . not me. but yeah i have a lot of questions and i just hope it comes back soon 😔. maybe im just missing them somehow but i have checked multiple places. but for some reason i dont see anyone mention it.

RIGHT?? RIGHT???? dont worry the colorism stays /s. they have characters in the latest episodes that are dark skinned and they made only the girl lighter skinned. oda didnt do that. oda made them all the same in the manga. its infuriating.

an issue i have post timeskip is that i actually cannot tell the women apart half the time. they all look pretty similar in the manga, although theyre distinguishable by their clothes and hair. but there was a spread (not colored) that had the main one piece women all in different clothes and with different hair and i sat there for multiple minutes trying to figure out who was who. like i genuinely couldnt tell. i miss nami's short hair,, it had so much character.. and i also miss robins short hair.. again.. it had so much character.

even on a colored cover i had a moment where i was like "is that vivi or is it nami" because it was just a solid blue. i assumed vivi based off context clues and bc.. blue. but if i hadnt had that.. i dont think i wouldve been able to tell. i have no problem with character design changing but oda makes most of the women next to indistinguishable from one another now. its really upsetting. if they had different skin tones or even just. different eye shapes. or different figures. it wouldnt be that much of an issue. but nooo he cant do that. all women who are supposed to be attractive have to look the same.

YEAH ive seen that video!!! u show up a lot on my feed but most of the time its just... the same few posts... which is kind of funny. I ALSO LOVED THE NEWKAMA!! like wow!!! queer representation??? i feel a kinship with these characters?? bon clay literally made impel down for me. my favorite boygirl girlboy. i adore u bon clay.. i adore u.

im a big fan of fukaboshi so i think anytime he was on screen my enjoyment was elevated. also zoro fighting hody(is that who it was) underwater was so cool . like how are u better than a fishman in water??? and the moments with noah... it felt like it was setting up some rly big things and i always love stuff like that. LOL YEAH sanji was even grosser on return to sabaody. i think its just not talked about as much because it wasnt a long arc and he wasnt on screen for a lot of it

oh they for sure have some good points. i also miss the silly shenanigans of pre timeskip. but overall im enjoying post timeskip more, and i do think theyre at least a LITTLE BIT blinded by nostalgia. its hard not to be tbh. i do really miss seeing all the crew together. i dont exactly mind them splitting up but .. i feel like a lot of them end up kind of sidelined. we dont get to see (just some examples) brook or chopper or nami fight much and i. i love them.. i love them just as much as the rest of the crew. i think nami has a really interesting fighting style. and brook is just fun. and people complain (validly) that chopper has been mascotified. which i wouldnt mind so much if he got more cool moments but he doesnt!! we dont even get to see him being a doctor that often :(.

like the writing is still fantastic but yeah. i agree. oda has basically run the jokes that were already pretty tired. into the ground. sanji being the one who suffers most from it. i dont mind robin having more moments where she imagines a really gruesome thing has happened to someone, for example. because she barely did that pre timeskip, and now she only does it occasionally so its not like "oh my god STOP". its still enjoyable. but. idk if theres even a prominent example of someone's character joke being awful other than sanji. like hes the only one who has a consistently awful joke. that in my opinion has never been funny. and its been made into a huge part of his character. i still love post timeskip to death bc. look at everything thats happening!! but i have a lot . lot . lot of gripes with it.

fellow impel down and dressrosa lover 🫡. i do rly like water 7 but . i dont know why but i never enjoyed enies lobby all that much. i think thats probably super controversial LOL. oops.

oh friend... u have no idea..... i have SO many one piece thoughts ... i have paragraphs upon paragraphs of one piece thoughts... the hyperfixation is actively killing me /j

wait let me. find . some.. i send them all in my private (as in its just me and my irl best friend) discord server so its not only in chronological order from when i sent the messages but its also extremely disorganized.. hmm a lot of these are/involve huge spoilers LOL

wait. how do u feel about sanji with heterochromia. one eye is blue and the other is brown . u get the best of both worlds... i felt like i was smart for this but ur the resident sanji lover. u have the say (in my mind) of what is best for him,,,

i saw someone say usopp would get conquerers haki and i big time disagree. he has the best observation haki in the crew and i feel like him getting conquerers haki would kinda cheapen that. and it cheapens his growth. why does he need to have conquerers haki to be a brave warrior of the sea? hes doing perfectly well without it. and also i dont think it fits his character. hes cowardly, has no self confidence, runs away from battles sometimes out of fear, and definitely has a huge sense of shame. from what i know, people with conquerers haki are usually super self assured, strong in a pretty traditional sense, and dont have much self doubt. usopp is like the opposite of that. i think hes very brave because he fights despite how scared he is, but the character archetype just doesn't work imo. like usopp without those characteristics is. to me. not usopp. tell me what u think!! also im like 90% sure none of this is spoilery but if it is i am so so sorry

obviously i havent seen the live action yet but live action shanks looks too hot to me.. like hes too conventionally attractive. i want him to be.. a rat man.. greasy .. but extremely charming.. and hes NOT!! hes just regular hot!??

do all places in one piece just have extra chairs or tables that are bigger? cuz there are some characters that arent of the giant race but are huge. and yet they fit on regular chairs. do u have a 8 foot tall guy walk into ur bar and u have to say "wait a second, we need to get out the big chairs" and then drag out a chair twice ur size? is that the case EVERYWHERE? or do some places not have big chairs so if ur extremely large u just have to sit in a chair thats too small for u.. or maybe u just sit on the floor. or stand.

that scene in sabaody of usopp asking rayleigh if the one piece is real, and luffy gets mad and tells usopp that he doesnt want to know, and if he finds out he will quit right now because he wont go on an adventure that isnt any fun. luffy is such a chill, silly captain, that im sure him snapping like that must be scary. usopp looked so shocked. i love their relationship. i think moments like that. really solidify how real the characters feel. like yeah, they have strong, defined morals. and they will argue and be childish and yell for the sake of their morals. i feel like a lot of media has characters with morals but it doesn't ever show them actually disagreeing with someone. let alone a friend. idk im not wording this great but i think this moment is so good. i love the moments of childishness in one piece. its very humanizing to have immaturity in ur characters

ok thats what ill leave u with for now :)

IM GLAD THAT MADE U LAUGH!! i felt really called out by constantly seeing it bc.. yeahm.. admittedly .. cannibalism is sexy sometimes.. i recently admit this to myself...

"i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing law ."

i think he should go to therapy probably. ur mental illness is showing march .

*nods* march 🫡

i dont think i’ve ever actually met someone who doesn’t like enemies to lovers before?? ik its popular bc its one of my favs and im happy about that bc im always nosedeep in the content SFNKJDN. valid tho. i cant speak bc ive written two 50K+ zosan fanfics and will probably write more 🧍I’LL USE THOSE SKILLS TO WRITE HANYAGELLAN FOR YOU. HAHA JK …UNLESS

so ive only met kidd once or twice right. i met him in sabaody pre-timeskip when the worst generation got introduced and he’s had a couple small moments since then. but i just feel and know in my heart that i would be a kidd girlie. red haired angry anime men are one of those specific niches i’m like YEAAA YEAAA [CHEERING] and people are always talking about his tits in the one piece server i’m in so. DFJNVIDJ HELL YEAH IM READY FOR THAT

and frobin…hell yea…theyre so cute…my weirdo couple…

actually!! im reading the manga on tcbscans and there’s a comment section under every chapter that i like to read bc its cool seeing ppl’s reactions (as i’ve said) and in big mom’s intro chapter someone was like “if ur manga only look up her song rn its actually so good” so i did and YEA. ITS SO FUN?? AND THEATRICAL?? AND I LOVE THE MELODY?? like ok big mom go off

yea i already knew pudding was 16 bc i was all up in sanji’s business and reading about wci when i joined the fandom but I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KYROS AND I WAS SO MAD WHEN THAT REVEAL HAPPENED!??!!? I WAS LIKE DAMN ODA HAS DONE THIS SHIT LIKE 3 TIMES NOW?? for the third one i count shirahoshi. even though she didnt have a love interest it was nasty for him to make a character so obviously meant to be so beautiful and sought-after and sexualized and then make her a teenager. plus vander decken . existed.

OOH YEA THEY JUST GOT SANJI BACK AND THEY’RE TALKING WITH BEGE ABOUT AN ALLIANCE RN. I PLAN TO READ MORE TONIGHT SO WE WILL SEE 👁️

“am i into mackenyu? no.. zoro? yeahs........” this is so real

U DREW TRANSFEM SANJI?? HAH?? HELLO?? HELLO MAY I SEE??

i have an art degree and tbh i support law and his human sculptures wholeheartedly. its very dada of him imo. but abstract art seems more up his alley. regardless i know some of my professors would have been like “live human sculpture…wow…that is so Art” very marina abromavic of him as well. but um yeah he should still go to therapy tho. yea

robin and law 🤝 “cool and collected” characters thinking fucked up weird animals are cute

i’ve moved like 9 times in my life this is just another day in the life [eyebags the size of dinner plates]

(looks at the other ask in my inbox) oh yeah…very soon

omg. i started getting on the internet in single digits but to like. get on mylittlepony.com and play facebook games. i started being more “ONLINE” around probably 10 or 11 though and i made my tumblr account when i was 12 💀 i, too, sometimes see something old i posted and just go Oh God

and i DEF had/have too much personal info online bc of that but i’ve tried to cut it down lately in the interest of ~ internet safety ~ . i dont use my first name online as much (hence going by mont in addition to the. trans-ness) and i took all my selfies off my blog. but who knows what else i put up and have forgotten about

RUMOKI TAKAHASHI I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU ‼️‼️ RUINING BEGRUDGING FATHER/ ADOPTED DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS FOREVER (jk i still love it but now im always just scared of. betrayal)

I LOVE VOCALOID!! i’ve been into vocaloid basically since i started being online (although i dont keep up with a lot of CURRENT vocaloid news so im like an old man who didnt keep up with the times. i love the original crypton 6 (miku, rin, len, meiko, kaito, luka) + gumi and gakupo but until a couple years ago i was like “What The Fuck is a Fukase” jbfvhjdn

i’ve caught up to date a little bit and still consider myself currently a vocaloid fan but yea im like a genwunner of vocaloid but just bc im lazy not bc im pretentious djsnkj

i actually saw kikuo (my fav vocaloid producer) in concert in january!! my first and only vocaloid concert…(but only bc he happened to be touring with bo en. no miku hologram for me)

ur like the third person ive met with aphantasia! and. yea its much easier in my head </3 why did i major in that shit </3

WAIT REALLY?? THEY DONT DO SBS ANYMORE?? I LOVE SBS :( I ALSO HAVE SOME ONGOING QUESTIONS I WANT ANSWERED!! (that i want someone else to ask kjvfnkfn) i looked it up and didnt see much at a cursory glance aside from the fact that sbs happens every volume instead of chapter (?) who knows but i hope they didnt stop completely…

toei feel my wrath re: the racism. oda also feel my wrath re: the sexism. and the racism (why do you use the same skin color for everyone in the colorspreads…oda PLEASE) and the worst part about the nami clone thing is that we know he can draw women differently. have u seen how he drew young big mom. she was so hot. and yet he chooses NOT TO!!

FKJNKDLS WHY AM I WHATS NEW PUSSYCATTING ON YOUR FEED. WITH THE CANNIBALISM POST TOO. I POST SO MUCH GOOD CONTENT TUMBLR WTH </3 (LYING)

YEA I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED HOW WELL DONE THE IMPEL DOWN REPRESENTATION FELT?? THAT WHEN WE GOT TO KAMABAKKA I WAS LIKE why did we go…backwards…but they cant take the impel down newkama land away from me. that scene where iva makes a speech about gender and does a little performance made me feel so seen on screen even if oda meant for it to be tokenism or something. i think he thinks we (gay ppl) are cool but doesnt quite get it. like he saw gay ppl and went “this would work with my silly art style so well. transgenderism is a thrilling character trait” and then did not attempt to understand much after that KDCKJS

FUKABOSHI MY BELOVED actually all 3 of the fishman princes…when they cheered up shirahoshi during the scene where their mom was murdered i actually cried as they danced and sang through their own tears. like wtF. AND YEA ZORO ALMOST DROWNED SO MANY TIMES THAT ARC BUT HE WAS STILL COOL AND HOT 😔 the noah was also a cool concept!! you see the noah’s arc thing come up a lot in anime for some reason?? like my d gray man loving ass was like huh…okay two nickels…

ur so right about the sidelining (its like anyone that isnt the east blue 5) and especially about chopper. aside from being mascotified i wish he wasnt baby-fied too (which stems from the mascot problem). like…he’s 17. chopper is a full ass teenager, not a child. I GET that he’s a reindeer and also very naive but imagine how cool he could have been post timeskip…horn point chopper is my fav bc i just love the design but IMAGINE IF HE LOOKED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME!!

and he could have so much more development in terms of constantly seeing his crewmates near death and always having to fix it…or just him improving as a doctor! i dont think we get to see chopper doctor enough but we also dont get to see him struggle! (m really just over here advocating for more depression and more hardship for chopper im so sorry king)

a lot of the running jokes i can still get behind (zoro getting lost will never not be funny to me idk how it hasnt gotten old but it hasnt okay) maybe bc its so harmless?? robin’s gruesome joke i agree, its not overdone so i still like it. mean nami slapstick i’ve never liked but can get a chuckle out of me every once in a while. brook panty joke L 👎brook skull jokes would be funny but they’re always too easy 👎 and yea sanji is the worst victim. i found it somewhat funny/endearing pre thriller bark when it was mostly harmless swooning and heart eyes but nowadays uhhh [beating him to death with hammers]

u know what i see ur point on enies lobby. for water 7 it had great new characters and an AWESOME bright and beautiful water city setting but enies lobbies is. just a bunch of white government buildings on an island. the high point is definitely just robin’s moment. and kaku saying “I LOVE GIRAFFES. GIRAFFES ARE AWESOME”

one piece brainrot is ruining me i have MUCH IDEA !!

OKAY LISTEN . I HAVE HEARD BOTH ROBIN HETEROCHROMIA AND SANJI HETEROCHROMIA AND LIKE. I DONT THINK EITHER ARE / COULD BE CANON BUT. robin heterochromia is so fun. and sanji heterochromia although for some reason i dont feel like it fits him HAS POTENTIAL bc imagine when he comes back post timeskip with his bangs covering the other eye now and the crew is like “🤨 wait i thought you had blue eyes?” ugh i need it. ive seen a LITTLE art and like 1 fic of heterochromia sanji and its very entertaining for sure i always eat it up even tho i dont necessarily headcanon it. i am so glad i have authority on this in ur mind btw. [clanging my sanji gavel] order in the court

i agree about usopp and conqueror’s haki! like damn we already got two of them with it dont we…although i saw someone on youtube somewhere suggest he could have “conquerer’s observation” ?? idk enough about haki to understand that but it sounds cool 👍 its not spoilery so dw! although that yt comment made me think like “if there’s multiple types of conqueror’s haki it it like..all based on one guy? one original conqueror ?? and who was it…” who knows…i mean i know zoro has conqueror’s haki bc of spoils but idk how or when that happens (wano, i assume. idk how i feel about that yet bc much as i love the green guy sometimes i feel like he’s favored a bit for the op stuff) and you made some really solid points about usopp’s character too!! part of me was like “damn sanji the only monster trio member not to have conqueror’s haki…” but he could not have it for. several of the same reasons u listed for usopp lmao AND THATS OK!! THOSE THINGS ARE REASONS I LIKE THEM BOTH

“live action shanks is too hot” ok then explain this

you know what. that is. a good question. why do they get so big btw. like humans come in all sizes but why. is it to do with the gravity of the planet cause its so huge and got so many moons…thats how i explain half of the unrealistic things in this show lmao. maybe they just stand. its more Intimidating™. sorry villains dont get to sit (although that makes me think about that time doffy was just sitting on the table in the middle of the warlord meeting?? did u see that post?? its a screenshot like why did they let him on the table like that. evil cat behavior from local bird man)

THATS A GOOD SCENE TO POINT OUT. YEA YEA YEA YUOU GET IT. i loooove the serious luffy moments. ive said it a million times but luffy is intelligence 5 wisdom 20. luffy is actually very selfish but in a way that i dont hate…he just wants to be free. and free others. and he lives so in the moment. he’s so different from so many people that he’s very fascinating as a character to watch, esp bc he DOES have moments like u mentioned that make him feel real and have boundaries. u know its funny bc luffy is like the most open accepting character that its hilarious how many times ive seen something oda has written/done and been like “luffy would never do this. the character u made up and continue to write would be more accepting than this.” like luffy is totally chill with women, doesnt see them as lesser, never even hints at this like even zoro does, luffy’s super chill about bon clay and the newkama, luffy doesnt discriminate based on characters’ races etc etc etc. and yet oda DOEs do all this its like. oda u have to see if bc u MAKE it so why cant U BE MORE LIKE THE GUY YOU MADE UP FDJVKND. i think the only moment i can think of that even vaguely implies luffy knows what a gender role is is when he’s in amazon lily and they put him in a frilly shirt and he’s like “i dont wanna wear this. this isnt my style at all” but its all about his OWN preferences and not about anyone else’s. u get me??

“cannibalism is sexy sometimes” u get it. u get it. u understand. we are kindred spirits rn. join me

and the end KJFNDKJEN ITS OKAY MARCH LET’S GO TO THERAPY TOGETHER

to end off here are some of my one piece headcanons (some of which probably will never be canon and im okay with that)

first off sanji is a repressed bisexual and u can tear this from my cold dead hands. post kamabakka he’s gnc too he just wont admit it bc hes a scared little baby bitch. ik it was anime only but that scene were he’s fighting in a dress and caroline keeps telling him to accept himself or some shit as a flower slowly blooms metaphorically in the in-between footage was transgender as hell. also that time someone sent a message to oda in sbs saying like “i’m so glad sanji is girl crazy and not boy crazy” an oda responded “uh, totally” …like is the translation just coming off sarcastic or am i reaching-

i think zoro is gay. he just gives me that vibe ok. 2nd choice he is aroace and luffy is like his qpp or somethin ok (i dont ship zolu but i can admit those bitches got a point bc MAN they really love each other. i like it much better as friendship tho) and on that note luffy is aroace too.

nami is a lesbian. im aware all 3 of these are the popular fandom hcs but idc. this one i have actual evidence for have u seen how she latches onto every woman in each arc. she’s just as bad as sanji she’s just more chill about it /hj

FRANKY IS STRAIGHT BUT HE’S A REALLY LOUD ALLY OKAY . HE’S JUST A COOL DUDE

contrary to fandom hc i think robin and usopp are probably straight. robin would make a very dignified lesbian or bisexual but i think she’s just a weirdgirl straight who’s being a supportive ally with franky.

brook is probably straight but i think he was also simultaneously in love with yorki a little bit and doesnt talk about it bc yorki is gone now so its not like its gonna happen ever again. soul king “im straight but i had a boyfriend one time” brook

chopper is a reindeer

god what else do i have aside form sexuality headcanons. OH !! this isnt a headcanon but i have a running theory that many of the strawhats are based on classic characters from fiction/pop culture…i keep meaning to make a post about this but im busy

zoro is inspired by zorro. okay easy next

chopper is inspired by rudolph, obviously

usopp is inspired by pinocchio but I DONT SEE THIS ONE MENTIONED AS OFTEN: CYRANO DE BERGERAC!! down to the lying and the long nose and the crush on the rich girl out of his league!!

robin is inspired by matilda in my mind. weirdgirl with mind powers abused by her caregivers and obsessed with books…like okay oda just tell us u read roald dahl

i know sanji was inspired in looks by mr. pink in reservoir dogs but i havent seen that movie so i cant speak on anything else LMAO

i feel like its possible the others were inspired by more that i just am not aware of / might be japanese pop culture and therefore harder for western fans to spot…thoughts?

#asks #replies #march anon #but like...i know ur name now....wack #long post

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